Father’s Day is upon us, and as is too often the case it is a bittersweet one for me. I hope to shed some light on fathering, especially as a divorcee, in my own experience. I hope to give men like myself a voice, at least. I hope my message reaches someone and effects some kind of shift in mindset. Please read with an open mind and keep the comments on the upside.
The Ugly Truth
The ugly truth came out of my ex wife one day as I dropped my son off. I had just been hired at a local tech company in my 5th and would have been final year in university. Though it was a tech company directly related to both degrees I was wrapping up, I hadn’t scored an internship. The area was still pulling unemployment below double digits, so I was just happy to have a 12 hour grave shift dragging the line for a pithy $1100 per month. She didn’t expect it. Rocking my 5th year in uni, she fully expected me to be scoring a high paying engineering internship. She was so confident she had it in the bag as I would clearly be too busy for parenting. She sneered right in my face and admitted she was only after more money.
I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I mean, I figured as much, but I just never expected to hear her say it. I looked at my phone to play back the video and my heart sank as I read the video length of 5 seconds. Fresh out of memory. I try not to hate my life during times of adversity, but after I failed to take a picture of her text messages to some other guy back when we were married I really make the effort to capture the rare moment when she shows her true colors.
All the salvation I needed was spilled out in front of me and I didn’t catch it. Of course I have no other proof that this effort is just to gouge me for money. That’s my misery to live out. However, I’m not alone in this fate. These things cause strain on the entire family.
The point of today’s gripe is this: women can and do contest parenting time just for additional passive income.
It’s not right, and the attitude that a man ought to just ‘man up and pay because life isn’t fair’ only inflames the gender argument. It’s time for more sensible child support calculations and holding the receiving parent accountable for the funds.
Goose's Roost 
Agreed! The money is to help support the child. That means rent/mortgage, utilities, food, clothing, medical bills etc. It’s not so the custodial parent can live beyond their income level.
That sucks that you didn’t get her recorded. Your poor son is paying the emotional price. He loves you both and yet he hears that one or other of you is not doing the right thing. It’s a seriously messed up situation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, it’s pretty deeply messed up. I really hate that the full picture is not admitted in court. They won’t consider either of our actual rent or expenses, the extensive financial support that she gets from her parents, etc. It’s cut and dry percentage of the non custodial parent’s income based on the number of days that parent doesn’t get with their children.
LikeLiked by 1 person
By all means, let’s leave the human factor out when dealing with the best interest of a child… (I think I gave myself a headache with that eyeroll)😤
LikeLike