Simple. If I had to find the best antonym to describe my life, that’d be the best I could do. Kids are to thank for the most of it, I suppose. The rest of it I probably bring on myself!
I suppose I would lose my mind with a simple life. It would start with a job, not a demanding or difficult one, just a job that most anyone could walk into and do. That job would pay just enough to cover bases and I would go about trying not to be too broke or tired to squeeze a bit of pleasure out of the little time off in between. I would methodically reiterate the need to put my thoughts out of my mind so as to go about another week in the interest of stability.
Been there, tried that. The Wall was okay, Solar World was a cool gig for a very short time, and I imagine it wouldn’t take much to get myself into another tech factory around here.
I guess I’m a busy-body. Well, employers just LOVE a guy like me. No matter where I go or what the job details, I learn fast then find other things to do to fill in my newly found free time. It usually turns into a timely promotion. So if jobs and promotions come so easy, why in the world do I struggle to maintain said jobs? What drives me to inevitable frustration and throwing in the towel?
Oh, so many crappy jobs in the couple decades I’ve been working. I have to think about the really good ones. Growing Spaces and Portland Metro have been on my mind. For whatever reason, those jobs were absolutely opposite of the overwhelming majority of my jobs. I am making an effort at freelancing while I pontificate the matter, but my gut tells me that what may be putting me off of working for a company might just be The Bottom Line. I hope to find the answer as I embark on a structure-less venture for income.
Of course, this section won’t be complete if I don’t talk about the Marine Corps! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I’m glad I did it once, but I wouldn’t do it again. Looking back, I’m not sure if I did it to escape the small town I was trapped in or if it really was just to fund college. In any case, it did both. It also grew me up and taught me how to get along in the world. Unfortunately, I picked up some bad habits too. Even 4 short years is enough to make a person an onery, short tempered go-hard.
So here I am now, fighting many of the demons I imagine my father ran from. Most days I maintain my hyper focus on the tasks at hand, coldly navigating the forks in the road and prioritizing the wrenches in the cogs. I may be uncouth in the delivery of my thoughts, but I’m also too often right. I’m working on improving that, and I appreciate the patience of those that put up with me.
In short, I am a hands on problem solver. I thrive in environments of definite truth, numerical values, and provable cause-and-effect. In a realm of versions of truth, personal values, and large gray areas between right and wrong, I only know my own viewpoint. So while I may appear to be able to do anything, I surly struggle to deal with strong personalities.
Family conflicts have led me to sever and close off my social connections up to now. In this digital world, lack of a Web presence stacks up against a person, so I’m hoping that friends find me here and can know that I haven’t slipped into insanity (yet)!